Reflection & Change

"We live in a time that puts too much emphasis on activity and accomplishment, and not enough on reflection and contemplation."  - Timothy Keller (Galatians for you)

To be honest, over the last few months there were times when I felt somewhat unnecessary at work. I was comparing myself to others and what tasks they were doing. I got lazy and wasn't as engaging with the girls. Then God convicted me...again. He reminded me of the role He's called me to fill. He led me to question if I was using my gifts well and doing my best, not just in my actions. He prompted me to check my heart. Was I preparing well? It's easier to recognize what I'm achieving or not achieving. It's harder to make solitary time with God and recognize what He's preparing me for and to prepare well regardless. It was a humbling process.

Shortly after refining me, God invited me into more responsibilities at work. I am grateful and excited for this new opportunity. I'm still teaching English, but I'm also starting to lead and train our teachers. And...I have officially extended my time in Cambodia for another two years (at least)!

The thought of staying until I'm 28 (or older), made me panic for a second. I considered my desire to further my education, save money for the future, to get married and live comfortably (without sweating profusely for one day!). As I prayed through it, I realized they're not necessarily bad things to desire, but they were all earthly things. Things that God was telling me not to worry about. Matthew says in chapter 6, "store your treasures in heaven...wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be." I want my desires to come from God and I trust that He will provide according to His will. It's a privilege and an honor to serve God here in Cambodia. I think I've said this before, even in the midst of the trials, I believe there is nowhere else I'm supposed to be!